When I started Imperfectly Perfect in 2011, I never thought there would come a time where I had to be the one sharing my story. Of course I was always open about my life, specifically my heart disease, but I never really thought the day would come that I had a major surgery and turned to iP not only to tell my story, but for support. Since I was younger, visiting the Cardiologist in the hospital or having procedures, has always been normal to me. It has always been incorporated into my life. Since I had Open Heart Surgery when I was younger, to all of my other heart surgeries along the way (7,9,23 and now 28)- I was always in touch with the core things that came along with it, such as doctors, tests, surgery, recouping, family, follow ups, more tests….but this recent surgery, my 5th heart surgery, second Open Heart Surgery, and hopefully final major surgery, was a tough one.
Once I knew I was going to have the surgery, I prepared myself. First, I quit work so that I could have an incredible summer (which I did)- It was filled with traveling, family, friends, laughter and love. I planned everything I wanted to do…yet never stopped to think about how I would feel leading up to my surgery. Needless to say, I wasn’t prepared. I was very emotional, yet grateful at the same time that I had the support system I did (which made me even more emotional). The night before the surgery I surrounded myself with the people I loved to keep my mind off of the inevitable.
The day of surgery, I was at the hospital at 530am, for a 715am surgery. My entire family was with me (minus my brother who lives in Dallas and was flying up once I got home from the hospital). We sat around in the pre-op room trying to keep our spirits high with laughter and love around us. I met the anesthesiologist and saw my surgeon again, only to have the nurse come get me minutes after. It was time. I hugged each member of my family tight, and then walked into the operating room. I stepped onto the operating room table, immediately the staff started prepping me. I sat my head up, thanked everyone in the OR for what they were about to do, laid my head back down, and began not only pray of a successful surgery, but I began to talk to God. He was the only familiar one in that room with me, and I had a few things to say to him. After that I closed my eyes peacefully and know I was safe because,
Once again, I was with God.
After I closed my eyes while walking to God, the next thing I remember was waking up to my mom. Of course it is a blur, but my mom told me that I looked at her and gave her a thumbs up.
It was over. It was behind me. I was safe.
I wanted to share this part of my journey with you, because of a few things. First, I think that everyone has had, or is going to have, a time in their life where they are nervous, unsure, or afraid of the unknown. I had that feeling before my surgery, leading right up to it, while in the hospital, and then at home while I was recovering…and I think this “feeling” is important to pay attention to, because of the fact that when you get worried, thats when your faith needs to step in within your life. I am not religious, but I am very spiritual because I have seen the power of God many times in my life. I am a firm believer that if you are one of those people who believes “everything happens for a reason” or that there is a master plan bigger than our eyes can see, then you cannot choose when and where to apply it. Thats not how faith works. Faith to me, is an all or nothing thing. You can’t believe in it sometimes and not others…and it is most important to believe, when everything else seems unknown. That is the whole point to having faith. It gets us through, when we have no idea how to get where we are going, or where we are going in general. Just Believe <3